Happy belated Father’s Day to all my fellow dads out there!
Yeah, another one has come and gone. You can all wipe that grin off your faces now; you know that one you get when you’ve just gotten away with something?
‘Cause let’s be honest… unless you’re a single dad, or the dad in a two-dad family who does all the work, we all know we have no business getting a whole day to ourselves when mothers are getting the same deal.
Probably it should be Father’s Morning, or Father’s Hour.
Actually, I think that has a nice ring to it! Heck, an hour is nothing to spit at… That’s a relaxing solo trip to Home Depot right there. Maybe even treat yourself to a six-pack on the way home so you can make use of that home-made Father’s Hour coaster your kid put together at school.
Think I’m being too harsh? Well I did some reading before cutting the legs out from under dads everywhere.
Check this out:
In the U.S. this whole Father’s Day thing first got traction in Spokane, Washington in 1910, spearheaded by a young lady who wanted to honour her civil war veteran dad: a widower who had raised six kids. Over the years and decades, various American presidents and politicians made attempts to turn the holiday national, but Congress wouldn’t have it. And presidents didn’t press the issue for fear of public backlash.
So it wasn’t until 1972 when Nixon finally was able to force it down everyone’s throats, making it a nationally recognised day, and putting a little extra coin in the beef, beer, and neck tie industries’ pockets each year.
It took 62 years, people! The national decision-makers hemmed and hawed for over six decades because they knew what a beat-down they’d get for saying that dads deserved equal celebration opportunities.
Can you blame them??
Go on… If you disagree with me, go on and tell your wife that you do just as much parenting work as she does.
I don’t mean in that “we’re a great team” way that you congratulate each other when toasting wine glasses on date night. Really tell her that you shoulder 50% of the load.
Then come tell me how the conversation went. ‘Cause I like to laugh at other dudes suffering.
Now if you’re really lucky, you have a classy wife like mine, who will let you believe that you deserve that full day. But you’ll know better. I’m not particularly clever, and even I know better.
Don’t get me wrong… I’m a great dad. I really am. I just know my limitations.
And when I see my wife making lunches, prepping tomorrow’s dinner, doing dishes, filing the taxes, and signing the kids up for twelve camps (all while talking to her OWN mother on the phone) in the same time that I folded the laundry… well… I can’t help but chuckle when Father’s Day comes around.
So don’t waste these years, boys. Enjoy every mouthful of succulent steak… don your malformed toolbox proudly… and cherish every precious word the teacher told your kids to write in those ill-gotten cards.
The pendulum is on its way back. One day, in 62 years or less, our leaders are going to realise what a terrible mistake they made.
Yes… Judgement Day is coming. And when it does, you’d better savour every second of that Father’s Hour.
You’re going to pay for it during Mother’s Month.